We talk a lot about EQ being just as important as IQ. Well, this is the time to prove it — to prove that when we say attitude is as important as grades, we aren’t just spouting platitudes but really, truly mean it.
This pandemic has proven to be a real test of character for all of us: in the way we take care of each other, in the way we limit our own enjoyments for the sake of the vulnerable among us.
It’s proving to be a real watershed moment for our kids too. How they respond to the challenges of these times will shape their character for years to come. Do they fold in the face of difficulties? Do they give up when things don’t go their way? Do they wait for perfect conditions to pursue their dreams?
We’ve all heard about the kid — or in some stories, the man — who was watching a butterfly in the process of emerging from its chrysalis. Taking pity on the struggling creature, he tried to help it by cutting the chrysalis open. But what happened next was devastating: the creature ended up being unable to fly.
“What the man – out of kindness and his eagerness to help – had failed to understand was that the tight cocoon and the efforts that the butterfly had to make in order to squeeze out of that tiny hole were Nature’s way of training the butterfly and of strengthening its wings.” (Paolo Coelho blog)
Let’s say our kids struggle. Let’s say they do a 20-item exercise and they only get 10 right.
Is it the end of the world?
Is that what we’re telling them? That failure of any kind is unacceptable?
Because if it is, I’d hate to think what would happen to those kids if they get bullied, or they get their heart broken, or their college of first choice doesn’t admit them. I’d hate to think what would happen when they apply for 10 jobs and get accepted to zero, or their marriage fails, or they realize, inevitably, that their life isn’t going to turn out exactly the way they wanted it.
Isn’t it better to teach them from a young age how to fail, and pick themselves up, and try again?
I love that quote — meant for adults but just as meaningful for kids — “Don’t be afraid to start over. This time you’re not starting from scratch; you’re starting from experience.”
What we’re going through right now…this is life education for our kids.
If there is a silver lining to this crisis, it’s that we, our children included, can emerge from it stronger and more capable than we were before — if we put in the effort.